My Family's Navy Adventure

Welcome to All Hands on Deck: Sailor, Wife and Life.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Trial and Error, Error, and Error

There is a new set of rules in the Taylor house.  Well, not really new, more like revised.  Our sweet little Tiny has a sweet little temper.  She is just like her mama, although it has been years since my temper has shown it's colors.  Don't get me wrong, I get frustrated, mad, and definately have my not-so-great moments.  But we are talking complete lose of control.  Tiny doesn't have inconsolable fits often, but when she does, I don't know what to do.  Do I discipline?  comfort?  ignore?  If this is her temper at 3, I am scared what it will look like in 10 years.  These are the only bars I want my babies behind.
She is cute, huh?  Little One.  Anyway, so I want to help Tiny learn to control her anger.  The Bible talks about not provoking your children; are we doing that?  Am I modeling anger?  Seriously, I am willing to take blame and change, I just dont know what I need to do.  So a friend reccommended a book.  
It is super good.  Very practical and scripture based.  It reaffirmed a lot of what we were doing, like having a Christ-centered home, not a child-centered home.  Expecting first-time obedience is a big thing in our house already.  But it did bring to light a big weakness.  Although we do fairly well with keeping consistent rules, we do not have consistent consequences.  Example:  Tiny hits Little One with the teapot.  Sometimes this is punished by a timeout, and sometimes this is punished by taking away the teapot.  Not all punishments are equal and sometimes hitting gets a big punishment and othertimes it gets a little punishment.  Inconsistent.  And there are big inconsistencies depending on who is disciplining.  Adam is wrapped around thier little fingers and they know it.  He loves those girls something fierce and becomes a big softy. 
I also noticed that sometimes I can't decide or think of an appropriate punishment when it needs to be delivered, so that usually results in a spanking.  (I know, BAD mama moment-just being honest) Which is not always appropriate for the crime, or effective.  Don't get me wrong, I believe spanking is an effective when used appropriately.  But for my Tiny, there are much worse things than spanking: missing out on a special treat at snack time.  She is begging for a spanking!  So all this being said, I made a list of rules and the conscequence for the rule.  There are only 5 rules and all of them are God's rules for living, not mine.  So if they don't like the rule, take it up with Jesus.  Ha!  See how far your complaints get with the Big Man.  I am still a little fuzzy on all of the consequences.  I may change some if they don't work.  Trial and error, error, error- that is our parenting style.
The Scripture "a gentle word turns away wrath" has been my anthem.  Tiny responds so sweetly to gentle words.  Proactive gentleness is something I started meditating on a few months ago and I saw a big differance in my heart and hers.  God's word has all the answers.  I have been blessed with these precious babies and I trust that He will give me wisdom to raise them.  I may post our house rules.  If nothing else, so that you can have a good laugh when none of my creative consequences work.  My favorite is "This is a peaceful home and throwing fits is not allowed, so you can go to the garage until you are done."  We used that one twice already today.  Adam wishes he could be sent to the too.  :)


  1. Three was by far the hardest age for BBZ. Four was hard, but not as hard as three. Hang in there, mama! One of the boys' school's mantra is: "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit". Yours could add...unless you want to throw the fit in the garage :)

  2. It did kind of bite me in the rear end when LO asked if she could sit in the garage. We like that saying too. Trial and error.....